Mourning

As we’ve learned, these precious little people will go through a mourning process. Each child processing in their own way. Shayne and Norah couldn’t be more different in how they’ve coped the last few days. Shayne is small and feisty. Her first afternoon and evening home with us, she cried, got distracted, cried, got distracted, cried, cried, cried. Our ride home from the Civil Affairs Office was smack in the middle of evening traffic. It was long and I’m sure part of her crying was due to road rage – already an L.A. girl, huh? But she wasn’t happy. In fact, she was downright mad. Slowly, but surely, smiles and giggles have increased in frequency. Starting late yesterday, she loves grabbing onto mommy and daddy’s legs or hands when she’s walking her wiggly walk. Food makes her oh-so-happy too. Her favorite practical joke is to poop right after mommy’s done cleaning and changing her. Sigh. Norah is truly gentle and quiet. She reached her hand out to pat her crying sister numerous times the first day. She ate, she drank, she found walking and falling on her butt just great. She seemed content to be held by any of us, even by some of the other parents (they can’t seem to help but steal her frin ys – she’s so cute). A little bronchitis hasn’t seemed to phase her either. But it’s obvious that she’s mourning in a very different way. Yesterday and today, she became very aware of her unfamiliar environment. She wants to eat only jook (porridge) and sweeter fare. We know that she was given porridge daily by her caretakers, so I’m assuming she’s finding it familiar and consoling. Her paperwork also indicated (unlike Shayne’s) that she had two very good friends in the orphanage named “Ji Hua Zu”, and “Ji Hao Shuang.” Notes also indicated that she was particularly close to three caretakers, including Ms. Li. Norah’s cry – it’s clear that it’s a mournful cry. I don’t know how to describe it, but it’s very clearly a deep, soulful cry. She’s sleeping right now…I rocked her to sleep in my arms after one of these episodes. I’d promised myself before these last few days that I wouldn’t cry in frustration. But I didn’t think I’d struggle with crying in empathy. Dear Norah’s cry brought my heart to learn more of what they must be going through, and maybe even what Ms. Li or Norah and Shayne’s biological mother may be experiencing. Shayne’s out shopping for Norah’s clothes with daddy. I will stay here, in hopes that my presence will show Norah that we will do our best to love and care for her in her new life at home with us. And that we will also embrace her past. We’re exhausted. As we enjoy the girls, we’re still trying to see – two naps or one? mix formula with cereal or straight formula? snip open the nipples or leave it alone? More bananas for you, and more fiber for you. Don’t forget the sunscreen, oh no, where’s her sock? But God has truly been gracious. He’s granted us excellent health, travel mercies, wonderful support and precious little ones to look after. The girls have been extremely understanding as well. Now, how can I convince one of these hotel housekeepers to come home with us? Thanks, Mike and Nanci, for lending us the Ergo and giving me a grab of those diaper ziploc thingies. Thanks, Ryan and Sarah, for the camera to catch priceless moments. Thanks, mom, dad, Marcus, Bonnie, Megan for the RMB. Thanks, sister Evelyn, for the gobs of clean hand-me-downs. Thanks, Scott and Stacey, for the poppy, linky toys – it doesn’t get old with these girls. Thanks, TPC group, for the backpack carrier – Cameron’s out with one right now!